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in the doghouse. BIG BADDA BOOM

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7:26 am
August 13, 2010

sheila

mindsided by Blindsight

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http://www.thedoghousediaries……om/?p=1921

okay, that's annoying because I don't fit. I'm more like the guys. shrug. but ahaha, I still laughed at a chapter in Carol Gilligan's "In a Different Voice" where she reports on differences in conversation content between girls and boys. my bad interpretation:

the Kohlberg Gilligan SMACKDOWN!

from In a Different Voice: Psychological Theory and Women's Development Carol Gilligan

Jake	Amy

Q: When responsibility to onself and responsibility to others conflict, how should one choose?

You go about one-fourth to the others and three-fourths to yourself.	Well it really depends on the situation. If you have a responsibility with somebody else, then you should keep it to a certain extent, but to the extent that it is really going to hurt you or stop you from doing something that you really, really want, then I think maybe you should put yourself first. But if it is your responsibility to somebody really close to you, you've just got to decide in that situation which is more important, yourself or that person, and like I said, it really depends on what kind of person you are and how you feel about the other person or persons involved.

Q: Why?

Because the most important thing in your decision should be yoursef, don't let yourself be guided totally by other people, but you have to take them into considertation. So, if what you want to do is blow yourself up with an atom bomb, you should maybe blow yourself upwith a hand grenade because you are thinking about your neighbors who would die also.	Well, like some people put themselves and things for themselves before before they put other people, and some people really care about other people. Like, I don't think your job is as important as somebody that you realyu love, like your husband or your parents or a very close friend. Somebody that you really care for &emdash; or if it's just your responsibility to your job or somebody that you barely know, then maybe you go first &emdash; but if it's somebody that you really love and love as much or even more than you love yourself, you've got to decide what you really love more, that person, or that thing, or yourself (And how do you do that?) Well, you've got to think about it, and you've got to think about both sides, and you've got to think which would be better for everybody or better for yourself, which is more important, and which will make everybody happier. Like if the other people can get somebody else to do it, whatever it is, or don't really need you specifically, maybe it's better to do what you want, because the other people will be just fine with somebody else so they'll still be happy, and then youll be happy too becuase you'll do what you want.

IOW:

Jake	Amy

Q

GRENADES. COOL.	blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

7:27 am
August 13, 2010

sheila

mindsided by Blindsight

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also, http://giveupandusetables.com/

9:07 am
August 13, 2010

Hljothlegur

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Post edited 9:08 am – August 13, 2010 by Hljothlegur

When male-female stereotypes appear in humor, I find myself scratching my head sometimes, too. They feel like prescriptions for maleness or femaleness that have, y'know, fuck-all to do with me. Confused I mean, is hatred/love of shopping a true litmus test for my gender, for instance?

I think your impression of "blah blah blah blah blah blah" is totally on the money. But the differences are more than male and female in the examples, dontcha think?

Amy talks like an extrovert constructing her argument ad hoc as she talks. She's inviting you to interact and comment, and when written down this extroverted "blurting everything out" reads very badly because it's geared for interactive conversation. For the extroverts who do this, an idea is the vehicle for human connection, not necessarily the only point of talking.

Jake's comment is terse and very clear, as if he constructed his argument in his head before speaking, complete with gripping example. These type of speakers produce less verbiage, and often read more cleanly when transcribed. Maybe introvert, maybe not, but doesn't it look as if he formulated what he was going to say more completely before he opened his mouth?

Amy's thoughts could be rearranged in a clear concise way, as Jake's are, if clarity was the point.

Amy is mentally about possibilities, and Jake is about conclusion. Some people like to lay out all the possibilities and consider them one by one, and others get impatient with that mode, so they make a quick gut assessment, a global "eye-ball" of the factors when they make decisions. If you are an eye-baller, Amy's way of thinking will make you very anxious waiting for a decision to finally be made. Eye-ballers make Amys nervous because after the decision, they are anxious that some relevant fact has been left unconsidered.

CAN YOU TELL I HAVE SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME WATCHING PEOPLE INTERACT IN LONG BORING MEETINGS?

8:12 am
August 14, 2010

sheila

mindsided by Blindsight

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Hljothlegur said:

When male-female stereotypes appear in humor, I find myself scratching my head sometimes, too. They feel like prescriptions for maleness or femaleness that have, y'know, fuck-all to do with me. I mean, is hatred/love of shopping a true litmus test for my gender, for instance?

yep.

I think your impression of "blah blah blah blah blah blah" is totally on the money. But the differences are more than male and female in the examples, dontcha think? [...]

OR

Amy is mentally about possibilities, and Jake is about conclusion. Some people like to lay out all the possibilities and consider them one by one, and others get impatient with that mode, so they make a quick gut assessment, a global "eye-ball" of the factors when they make decisions. If you are an eye-baller, Amy's way of thinking will make you very anxious waiting for a decision to finally be made. Eye-ballers make Amys nervous because after the decision, they are anxious that some relevant fact has been left unconsidered.

So, the way in which I am like Amy is pretty similar to this. I like to sprout all of the things I can think out of my head and then prune them back. and if I don't watch myself I tend to talk this out loud. this is not always so good in some context.

btw, the other day I read a blog post or news or something (my source memory is not so good, see) mentioning that talking through things while doing them improves the performance on a task. this sounds plausible to me. perhaps you are offloading some of your working memory in to your aural loop, which is a little longer than other sensory modality memory stores, so you get to keep chunks of information there for a little while, while you are thinking. perhaps. since I cannot remember where I read this, I cannot follow up to see if I know fuck-all about it.

CAN YOU TELL I HAVE SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME WATCHING PEOPLE INTERACT IN LONG BORING MEETINGS?

oh, you know what happens in meetings that I hate? any comment or question someone has is going to make the meeting last longer. any absolutely non-critical question I have I've stopped asking. torture. and I hate it when anyone else starts asking frivilous things.

it's worse than the first day in a course when people ask stupid questions about things that are in the syllabus just shut up already and let the prof talk about real stuff.

anyway, the work interactions are fun in some aspects… they usually bore people in my line of work, but when you step back a level forming a good team of people is like engineering something, even yet, more challenging or interesting because it's messier and trickier than things that usually make more sense.

btw, if I start decomposing behavior a lot I ended feeling a little dissassociated, and when I was reading the rifter trilogy it had me decomposing behavior a lot more than I normally do, so I was mentally woozy.

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